Only if It's Me
by Sassycaslovesdean
Summary: Dean and Castiel are college roommates, and they've become best friends as well. That is, until Cas starts bringing home boys. Dean struggles with what he assumes to be homophobia, but little does he know that he's fallen in love with his gay roommate.


They had been roommates for a year, and like all people who are in closed quarters for a long enough period of time, they had had their fair share of difficulties, but Dean had never had a really bad one until Cas started bringing boys back to the dorm. The first one was a boy named Uriel.

Cas had brought him over to their dorm room, but Dean did not like him the moment he walked through the door. Yes, he was outspoken and almost threatening, but that described a lot of college students. It bothered him when Cas walked in and Uriel had an arm around his waist, but that's what worried Dean. The thought occurred to him that he might not have a problem with Uriel, but he might have a problem with him and Cas being a thing. The mere sight of them together did weird things to Dean knew could only be wrong. He could not stand to be in the room with them. It made him almost angry, but definitely uncomfortable, and that's what worried him.

Dean had never given much thought about homophobia, but now it seemed like it might have been inside him all along. He didn't want to be upset by Cas being happy if that meant he was with a guy instead of a girl. Cas was his friend, and his best friend since going to college at that. He wanted Cas to be happy, but his skin felt like it could crawl away when he saw Cas with Uriel, so he did what the outburst inside of him told him. After Uriel had gone back to his dorm, Dean told Cas not to bring him back anymore, which had resulted in an argument over whether or not Dean was homophobic, one which Cas had easily won.

Cas, however polite he was, was not one to tolerate bigotry. He and Uriel did not last long. It didn't feel right for either of them, so they had gone their separate ways.

After not too long, Cas had moved on and was with a boy named Samandriel. He generally avoided bringing him around Dean, but one day they were on a date and Cas had forgotten his wallet.

"Shoot. I left my wallet inside." Castiel pawed at his jacket pockets before checking his pants pockets, neither providing the item he was looking for. "I'll run up and get it."

"Do you mind if I go up with you? I kind of have an irrational fear of getting abducted." Samandriel scoffed as his eyes shot ashamedly to the ground.

Castiel hesitated, biting his lower lip with a quick nip. "It's not really irrational considering where our school is." Castiel pointed out, which was entirely true. People got abducted on a fairly regular basis in that city, and Samandriel was rather defenseless. He was a pacifist after all, which was uncanny considering his fear. "Sure. Come on up. It will only be a second." He decided after a moment, mentally praying that Dean would not be in the room.

No such luck. They arrived at the room to find Dean propped up on his bed watching something on his laptop.

Dean looked up immediately, and his jaw clenched as he noticed Samandriel. _Another one._ He thought. _Why does this bother me so much?_ He gave Samandriel a passing glare as if trying to find that answer, but he could not, so he pulled his gaze away to rest it on the far wall. "Who's your friend, Cas?" His words were forced and tight as his jaw clenched again.

"Samandriel." Castiel simply answered as if he sent a glare forcing Dean not to say anything. He edged his way over to his desk before pulling open the top drawer and fishing out his wallet. "Samandriel, this is my roommate, Dean." Castiel's voice was low as he tried to control the situation.

"Hey. Nice to meet you." Samandriel forced a smile, his voice giving away that he was more than slightly afraid, which was probably from experience. He glanced over towards Cas as if he were an animal trapped in a cage trying desperately to get out. "You know, I think I promised my roommate a movie night. I should get going…" He began to back out the door.

"Samandriel…" Castiel pleaded with his eyes, telling him that they could just leave the room now, but Samandriel continued to back out.

"I'm sorry, Cas. I've just… got to go." Samandriel muttered before he was completely gone.

"Look what you did." Castiel hissed out, clearly agitated.

"I didn't do anything." Dean defended himself, sitting up straighter and folding his arms across his chest.

"Don't play stupid. You have him a death glare." Castiel snapped.

"Why would I do that?" Dean protested with a falsely incredulous face.

"Because you hate the fact that I date guys!" Castiel shouted, which was unusual for him, but Dean had pushed him too far. Homophobia was something he had dealt with his whole life. Dean was supposed to be his friend. He was supposed to be happy for him, not scare away every boyfriend he got.

Dean visibly stiffened. "That's not it." He grumbled.

"Then what is?!" Castiel moved in closer, his arms outstretched.

"I don't know!" Dean shouted back, a look of pure perplexion written in his face.

Castiel paused his outburst at the response. "What's that supposed to mean?" He no longer shouted, but his voice still bordered a shout.

"I said I don't know." Dean growled back.

"Well that's not an answer, and I think you owe me answers, Dean!" Castiel's voice rose back to a shout by the time his sentence came through. "You can't just be happy for me?!"

"That's not it." Dean growled again, this time his voice getting louder by a notch.

"Then what is?!" Castiel loudly demanded.

Dean took in a deep breath, unsure of how to answer the question. "I don't know." He gave Cas a glare that told him to allow him to continue. "I just… it upsets me to see you with guys. I mean, I know that's wrong, but I can't help that. I want you to be happy, man. I really do, but it just makes me so angry to see you with another guy-"

"Wait." Castiel caught off Dean's rant. "Did you say angry? Seeing me with a guy makes you angry?" He was confused, but something about it seemed to make sense to him.

"Yeah. It does. It's not like that with other people. I mean, I've seen plenty of gay couples, but I've never been bothered by it before. I don't know what's wrong with me. I really like you dude. You're better than anyone else here, and I want you to be happy…" Dean looked clearly frustrated with himself and his emotions, unable to piece things together.

Castiel, however, was smarter about emotions than Dean was. That was all it took for him to figure it out. Without another word, he rushed over to close the space between himself and Dean by smashing their lips clumsily together.

Dean was initially stunned, but he melted right into the sloppy kiss and kissed right back, grunting in agreement as he grabbed Cas's chin with his hand.

They were there for what felt like hours before Cas pulled away and Dean stared at him in wonder.

Dean's eyes were wide as Castiel spoke. "So are you still upset that I kiss guys?" He coily asked.

A half grin formed on Dean's face. "Not if it's me you're kissing." He added slyly back. He leaned back towards Cas to go for a second round before the thought struck him. "What about that kid from earlier?"

Castiel shook his head. "I think you successfully scared him off, but I don't really mind. I don't think he was right for me anyway."

"Good. Because I didn't think so either." Dean breathed out before the realization struck him. "I'm not homophobic." His eyes widened and he began to grin. "I'm just in love with you. Who would've guessed…"

Castiel rolled his eyes. "I did, and you're lucky I did too. Otherwise you would have been confused for a long time. Now shut up and get back to kissing me."

Dean raised his eyebrows. "Works for me." He grunted before obeying his newfound boyfriend's command.


End file.
